Bryan's Autobiography

Utah County Sucks

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 05:51:59 GMT

Well,

I just got home after serving 23 hours in the Utah County Prison. Turns out I had an unpaid speeding ticket from the last time I was in Utah that I thought I had paid which went to warrant. So yeah, ended up learning a lot. Though I feel sorry for my roommate and coworker, Jake. So the full story...

My roommate Jake got me a job with him setting up the displays for the Lowe's plumbing department. We service all of the Lowe's throughout Utah, and I was hired yesterday morning. Our first project was in Orem, right in the heart of Utah County (mistake 1, turns out the police are on a rampage of writing tickets so they can pay for the higher gas prices). So we go to work and the day goes really well. The display we did usually takes between 12 and 14 hours and we got it done in 9. So after a nice long day of work, we stop to get drinks and head back to Salt Lake for game and sleep. After leaving the gas station, we hit this deep dip which bottoms out the car, even though we only hit it at about 20 miles per hour, and so Jake gets pulled over. After being pulled over, the police officer asks for both of our IDs and info, so we cooperate since we think we have nothing to hide (mistake 2, I found out that I did not need to give my ID or any info by law unless Jake was arrested for something). So they give Jake a citation but not for speeding, the write him up for a brake light being out, which he later found out was false. Me on the other hand turned out to have a warrant for an unpaid speeding ticket of driving 9 miles over the speed limit in January of 2007, a ticket I could have sworn I had paid. So they arrest me and since all of the jails in Utah County are being remodeled the only jail they can take me to is the Utah County Prison. When I get to the prison, they pull up a warrant for Salt Lake County for driving with a suspended Utah license... turns out that even though I had a valid license or Ontario, because of the unpaid ticket, the reactivated my Utah license and suspended it. So then my bail becomes $207 for the Orem one and $354 for the suspended license in West Jordan. Luckily, the West Jordan one is bondable so I call different bail bondsman and it will cost $80 to bond me. While booking me they let me write out some phone numbers from my phone so I can call people to get everything worked out (mistake 3, the phones in the jail only let you call collect and so can't call cell phones, of which everyone I know uses). So I struggle for a bit trying to get things together and by 2am I'm still sitting there waiting after having the bail bondsman call Jake for me to let him know what the deal is, and I find out that he doesn't have the money until the morning, so I get booked the rest of the way and put in a cell for the night. This morning, Jake shows up to bail me out, and they ended up racking on a 3rd warrant for the suspension in Draper, now Jake can't afford it, not to mention they also won't let him pick me up because he has a Utah State ID, not a Utah State DL. So, Jake takes the money and is about to call people, like my mother to let her know what's going on when he gets pulled over again... this time it's because of a fender bender he was in where he was rear ended and his bumper is bent in a way where his license plate is not visible. Anyways, they decide to arrest him as well because he has a warrant in Salt Lake and with his charges they were writing up for him, they threw a lot of bogus stuff in there as well. During this time, the only good part of the day happened, mainly, I got to go to court in Orem for the first warrant. It was kinda funny to see me, in my prison clothes, shackled and chained up like a dangerous convict all for a warrant of not paying a ticket where I drove 9 miles over the speed limit. The judge thought it was ridiculous, dropped the charges to $80 and released me from prison for that warrant, granted I still have to stay in prison until the new charges are taken care of, but it was a plus. So I'm trying yet again to call people, since I had no clue that Jake had been arrested and was sitting in the booking room of the same god damn prison I was in, but I was able to get in touch with my friend Kyle and my mother. She was on her way from Logan to Vernal so stopped and posted bail, so I got out 2 hours after Jake's family got him out. So the lesson for the day is Utah County sucks and the cops are worse.

For my mugshot and rap sheet, go here

For Jake's, go here

Needless to say, alot of trouble for no real reason.

Update on Life

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 11:33:34 GMT

Another sleepless night so decided to download and try Mobile LJ on my Palm Centro. Its been a long time since I really updated seeing as my last post was my Cam Resignatiob so I'll start with that. After I sent in my resignation I was contacted by several National and Global officers and was asked to reconsider. I explained the issue I had and realizing that the issue was both a breach of the CoC as well as defamation of character which was against the law in both countries, they took care of the issue and I stayed in the Cam. Other than that I have been in and out of several painful relationships. I keep trying to stay positive about it, after all everything happens for a reason but it's still really painful. Anyways, I am now trying things with someone new and things are looking really good. We haven't seen each other in person for over a year but I will be seeing her at SWRE next week and things should go well. I've been unemployed for quite awhile but I should be starting a new job today or tomorrow building displays for Lowe's and I have a really good job potential coming up in San Diego so keep me in your thoughts and prayers to get it. Finally, I plan on moving yet again to California. I think this may be my last move since its back to So Cal and I've constantly wanted to go back since I left in 94 so things are looking up. So yeah, long time since an update so if anyone is still reading, drop me a comment to let me know.

Camarilla Resignation Letter

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 22:00:21 GMT

I have just sent this off to my coordinator chain that was involved in my transfer from Canada to Tulsa, OK.

Bryan R. Cartwright
Camarilla Member #: CA2006061402, US2002022830, 9506-051
7329 S. Utica Ave. #1013
Tulsa, OK 74136
918-810-7936
jaysun.heylel@gmail.com

April 15, 2008

To all coordinators processing my transfer:

The purpose of this letter is to announce my resignation from The Camarilla, effective immediately.

This was not an easy decision to make, on my part. The past 13 years have been very rewarding and enjoyable. I’ve enjoyed assisting in the growth of The Camarilla through various positions over the years and it is with a heavy heart that I must do this. I have grown to a point where I am mentally exhausted and no longer enjoying my time in The Camarilla, whether due to burn out, tired of dealing with rumours about myself or loved ones or feeling unappreciated or backstabbed by those I considered family.

I do apologize that things have reached this point, but it is something that has been slowly building for over a year and recent circumstances, which I do not feel necessary to go into at this time, have made everything come to a head for me. I wish all of you, and The Camarilla as a whole all the best. I do hope our paths can cross again in the future.

Sincerely,

Bryan R. Cartwright

An IC Update

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 23:08:51 GMT

So, let's see here. I am so happy Arawn is a part of the Asnam bloodline, and that he had an Unholy Avater. We ran a scene last night to wake up Czar Derrick Spectre who didn't want to wake up with a Vinculum/Blood Bond/Blood Addiction so Arawn lied through his teath and made a whole slew of promises that he could do it without any problems. There was a beautiful, though overly angsty scene with everyone to get things underway, and finally they allowed Arawn to do his "ritual" to wake him. Everything went as planned, but the player of Czar Spectre claimed he felt the Vinculum, and as Arawn promised if anything went wrong, he would die... he let Justin Maxwell kill him. Being Asnam, he was abe to make a roll and his souls survived in his Unholy Avater, so I still get to play Arawn under a new name, but with 171 xp less as I lost a whole slew of nifty things. Ah well... he survived.

According to the player, he should have felt the Vinculum... and I have to say, I'm tired of people who don't know how to play it properly. First dealing with complaints between 2 players because of a 3 pt bond, now this one. It'd be nice if people read the books and could seperate OWoD and NWoD. Ahh well... though to prove my point, in Requiem MET, page 226 Under Game Mechanics, it says and I quote, "The first taste generates a mild interest, but the delicious power in the Vitae outweighs any personal interest. The character knows that the other vampire tastes good. The donor of the blood gains no particular hold over the character." That's it. To answer the questions the others had... there was a ghoul who did some actions that had a chance of putting his regnant at risk. He constantly mistreated his ghoul, but wanted a blind slave... again per the MET Book, "Mistreatment can also weaken a Vinculum. If a regnant gives his thrall reason to hate him, that hatred can prove stronger than forced devotion. When love, hate and terror roil within a thrall’s heart, the conflict might resolve itself with a murderous assault on the regnant. Succeed or fail, the thrall probably goes mad as well. We cannot provide a system for such hatred or madness, though. Too much depends on the details of how the regnant treats the thrall, the thrall’s personality and the specific events that cause his mind to snap."

Ah well, it's done with, but I needed to vent. Other than that, life is good.

Updates, updates

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 04:28:03 GMT

Okay, I guess everyone wants to hear an update from me. Well, I'm still in Canada, I'm the ANST Requiem here. I got laid off from C3 the day after Labour Day and now working on joining RCMP. I should be heading back to Utah at the end of November so I can live rent free, and travel to see my friends in Phoenix, Los Angeles and Victoria Island, as well as go to Victoria Island to do my RCMP testing. I'm also single right now, though I have a few people I'm a bit interested in... so yeah... I guess that's it for now.

In response to [info]mario05

Wed, 17 May 2006 00:49:08 GMT

Explain your LiveJournal name and its meaning. When you're done, tag as many people as there are letters in your name.

User name: darksyre

Let's see here, this is sending me back. Back in the mid 80s when BBSes and hacking was new, I had the nick Snyper. As time progressed and when IRC got big, I started noticing my Snyper nick being stolen and used quite a bit, so I changed it to Darksyre. I thought up Darksyre because a good friend of mine had Darksbane and people always commented on how we were opposites. He was very bright and cheerful, and I was dark and derpraved. Thus Darksbane was Bane of Darkness and Darksyre, Sire of Darkness were born. The y replaced the i because my name is Bryan and s I throw a y into all my nicks.

I'm honestly not sure who to tag, but here goes:
[info]raccoonfamiliar
[info]sirens_voice
[info]undead_cowboy

I guess that's it since I either know where the names come from or they have already filled this out.

Horked from caitlin_bedford

Sat, 29 Apr 2006 02:43:43 GMT

"ACHTUNG!

darksyre may actually be a spider-human hybrid

From Go-Quiz.com

This is from snonsumr and eviljess

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 16:02:28 GMT

What type of Fae are you?

Thanx to Snonsummr

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 15:54:00 GMT

LiveJournal
Trading Cards
Free Account Edition

	darksyre User Number: 1367522 Date Created:2003-10-04 Number of Posts: 28
Darksyre is the uber platinum geek on LiveJournal. He is a gypsy, though does like to settle down from time to time. He is also an odd specimen of the gamer persona.
Strengths: Friendly, outgoing, smart, erotic, "Mr Big Dick" (TM)
Weaknesses: Psycho females, role-playing games, food. Always horny though not very discriminating in who he chooses to be with.
Special Skills: Acting, Rloe-Playing, Computers, Great Lover
Weapons: Knuckles, elbows, knees, charming personality
Geek Traits: Computer Programmer, Gamer Geek, Construction Engineer, Researcher

Make your own LiveJournal Trading Card!
Brought to you by crossfire_

Ooookay, yet another personality test

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 22:38:41 GMT

darksyre took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Feels he has been unjustly and undeservedly treate..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Wow, just, wow!

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 18:22:32 GMT

Okay, for those that don't know, I got a new job about a month ago working for a company in Waterloo, Ontario that has me on the road about as much as I'm home. For the first time, it's in a completely different field than what I'm used to. I'm a Project Manager on construction sites that deal with Hazardous Materials, trying to keep the toxins out of the groundwater off site.

Well, my first job has me in New York. Working in Staten Island on a MGP (Manufactured Gas Plant) where they made Coal Fuel, so there is alot of toxins like BTEX and Coal Tar in the soil. Well, the very liberal media and the residents have started problems. For the last 2 weeks, all I've done is sit in a car and look at an empty lot waiting for us to start work again.

For those interested, the articles in the local Newspaper, the Staten Island Advance, follows:

Monday, February 06, 2006
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Friday, February 10, 2006
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Friday, February 17, 2006
Wednesday, February 22, 2006

You know, it would be nice if the media actually did research and talked to our client, Keyspan, about these things too. And now that the residents have advertised all this, they never decided to think about the consequences, such as deteriorating the value of their homes by openly advertising that they are up against a Toxic site.

For some explanations, the steel sheet pile that was supposedly carried over them when the reporter was there is a falsehood. We started lifting the sheet and then saw them there and so put it down and stopped work until it was safe. Not to mention, all the complaints by the neighboring residents, and yet they won't let us do things such as put up toxin, noise and vibration centers in and around their homes to make sure all is safe, or even let us put up a safety retaining wall so that nothing gets on their property. Hell, the pregnant lady mentioned was offered a free hotel and limo service so that she wouldn't have to deal with the noise and other such disturbances while she was pregnant and had a newborn, she turned it all down and is now one of the biggest complainers.

Oh well, just goes to show how stupid and greedy people are, hoping that they will get a cash payoff to shut up or not caring about the environment both on their property and spreading throughout the land. Oh well, guess we just continue to sit and wait until we can start work again.

Hrmmm...

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 17:47:50 GMT

Your Love Element Is Fire

In love, you are a true listener and totally present.
For you, love is all about feeling more alive than you've ever felt.

You attract others with your joy and passion.
Your flirting style is defined by your strong ability to communicate.

Fun and play are the cornerstones of your love life.
And while your flame may burn too brightly, it's part of your appeal.

You connect best with: Wood

Avoid: Water

You and another Fire element: will likely burn out quickly

What Element Is Your Love?

Hrmmm, should I be surprised?

Sat, 25 Feb 2006 19:24:48 GMT

You Are 90% Evil

You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you!

How Evil Are You?

Okay, don't think I can argue with this one

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 21:15:39 GMT

Imaginative, erotic, passionate

You prefer to have one partner and to try everything with them. You have an enormous sexual appetite, and you often create sexy scenarios to play out with your significant other.

Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

Compatibility Profile

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 04:45:31 GMT

Social Orientation

Social Orientation describes how much of your behavior is motivated by the desire to get along with and be liked by other people, as well as how much is driven by the desire to be seen as an effective problem solver and self sufficient. People with a strong External Orientation place a high value on communicating their thoughts and feelings with other people. People with a strong Internal Orientation place a high value on individual effectiveness, competence and autonomy The dimensions that we assess as part of your Social Orientation are Conflict Management, Character, Vitality and Security, Communication Style, Kindness and Autonomy.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with women who fit the following descriptions:

Kindness: Your ideal mate goes out of her way to do nice things for you. She's the kind of person who will let you know she cares, whether it's surprising you with baseball tickets or making you your favorite meal. She won't take you for granted. She wants to be there for you when you have a problem.

Communication: You will have the best relationship with a woman who believes easy conversation is essential to a good relationship. She's comfortable speaking her mind, but she also sees the importance of listening to someone else's point of view. Friends and family appreciate her ability to listen and speak with candor.

Some additional details about your ideal mate:

Character: Your ideal mate is a woman who doesn't pretend to be perfect. She does, however, make a sincere effort to relate to other people. She's the type of person who's nice but who is by no means a saint. She will appreciate your ability to get along with others but won't expect you to always put the needs of others before your own.

Autonomy: You will be best matched with someone who wants to know all of the important things about your past. She'll be equally interested in living in the present and planning a future. She won't need to know every detail about your life or every thought that crosses your mind. She's the kind of person who sees herself as part of a couple but still maintains her independence and identity.

Vitality and Security: You need a woman who is honest and reliable. She has a good understanding of what it takes to make a relationship work over the long haul. She wants to build a relationship that will last but doesn't need you for constant support.

Conflict Resolution: You'll be happiest with a woman who tries to avoid conflict altogether. When she does have a disagreement, she tries to keep the peace instead of adding fuel to the fire. Resolving the argument is generally more important to her than being right, but she will stand up for herself.

Extraversion

The Extraversion scale assesses how you feel when you are around people. Extroverts are generally comfortable at the center of attention. They rarely feel a need for "alone time" and are almost always eager to meet new people. Introverts, on the other hand, avoid the spotlight when they can, approach many social gatherings with hesitation and relish time spent with good friends whom they know well. While most people exhibit a mix of Introvert and Extrovert qualities based on what kind of social situation they are in, people who are strongly Extroverted often place the largest value on having many friends and making new friends easily. In contrast, people who are strongly Introverted generally place the highest value on having a few very deep and meaningful friendships. The dimensions of your profile which are associated with Extraversion are Emotional Energy, Sociability, Adaptability, Humor, Romantic Passion and Dominance.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with women who fit the following descriptions:

Emotional Energy: You'll probably be happiest with someone who's up for a last-minute get-together with friends, even after a long day at work. She's spontaneous and adventurous. Her friends probably describe her as the person most likely to pick up and go away for the weekend at a moment's notice.

Humor: Your ideal mate can see the lighter side in most situations. She is generally able to find something funny in everyday situations, like uptight waiters or rebellious teenagers. She likes to be around people who make her laugh. Her friends see her as someone who has a good sense of humor but who can be serious when it's necessary.

Some additional details about your ideal mate:

Adaptability: Your ideal mate likes to find new ways to deal with old challenges. She can think up creative solutions to a problem but doesn't discount the tried-and-true answers. She's the kind of person who can never seem to do something the same way twice. She can accept new approaches to problems when the old solutions have stopped working.

Romantic Passion: Your ideal mate is a sensual person who enjoys occasional romantic gestures like a night of soft music, candles and good conversation. But she doesn't overemphasize romance or put unrealistic expectations on her partner. She knows there are more important things in a relationship.

Dominance: You are best suited to someone who doesn't take competition to extremes. She likes to win but doesn't need to do so at all costs. She is aggressive when the situation warrants it - such as when vying for a promotion or playing tennis in front of a crowd - but can accept a loss with grace.

Sociability: You'll be happiest with a woman who likes to spend time with old friends and make new ones. She might not always be the first to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but she is rarely tongue-tied once the conversation is underway. At parties, she's the type of person who isn't afraid to venture outside her group of friends.

Openness

Openness refers to a person's willingness to experience new and creative ideas. People who score low on Openness tend to place a high value on tradition and belonging to a group. People who score high on Openness tend to place a high value on imagination and individualism. Extreme scores on Openness also often distinguish between people who enjoy thinking in symbols and abstractions to people who prefer ideas which are clear and concrete. The dimensions of your profile that we consider as part of Openness are Artistic Passion, Curiosity and Intellect.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with women who fit the following descriptions:

Intellect: Your ideal mate is quick-witted without being over-intellectual or boring. She likes to think of herself as comfortably in the middle between people who think too much and others don't think at all. She will appreciate your intelligence, but she isn't an intellectual snob.

Curiosity: You will be best matched with a woman who is eager to learn about things that interest her. She likes to learn about the world by trying new things, like exotic foods or vacations. She is well-rounded and well-versed in subjects that intrigue her. But she doesn't feel the need to know everything.

Artistic Passion: You are best suited to the kind of woman who can appreciate others' creativity. She likes art galleries but probably doesn't get to them very often. She likes things like literature and fine art but probably spends her spare time on other pursuits. It's possible she would visit some of the world's top museums while on vacation but then neglect the ones in her hometown.

Physicality

Physicality separates people who enjoy being physically energetic and active from those who are uncomfortable or dislike engaging in sports or strenuous activity. Some people push life to the limit, scaling mountains or competing in triathlons. People with a less demanding sense of Physicality enjoy looking at mountains more than climbing them. The dimensions of your profile which comprise the most important aspects of your Physicality are Appearance, Physical Energy and Sexual Passion.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with women who fit the following descriptions:

Sexual Passion: You'll be most fulfilled by the kind of woman who believes sex is an important part of a great relationship - but not the only part. She is looking for physical chemistry with a man, the kind of spark that comes from genuine romantic attraction. However, she also appreciates that there is more to a "real relationship" than sex.

Appearance: You are most compatible with a woman who wants to look good but doesn't obsess over it. She will appreciate the time and effort you put into your appearance and be happy with the end result. Ultimately, however, she is more concerned with who you are than what you look like.

Physical Energy: You are best suited to someone who likes to stay active but also enjoys spending quiet time at home. She makes staying healthy and exercising a normal part of her life, but she also enjoys kicking back and relaxing when the time is right.

Goal Orientation

Goal Orientation refers to the drive to plan for the future versus the urge to live in the moment. People who score low on Goal Orientation are generally spontaneous and free spirited. They are likely to act on their first impulse and worry about the consequences afterwards and place a high value on being clever and lucky. People who score high on Goal Orientation, on the other hand, are more driven to think about future consequences before acting, place a high value on being wise and cautious and like to always put their best foot forward. The dimensions of your profile that relate to your Goal Orientation are Industry, Ambition, Organization and Education.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with women who fit the following descriptions:

Ambition: Your ideal mate is the kind of person who strives to be the best at what she does. She understands your desire to be recognized for your accomplishments. But she won't turn her quest for success into something that will dominate her life. Things like family, friends and time to herself are important to her.

Industry: You are most compatible with someone who works hard but avoids bringing too much stress and worry home. She likes to stay busy, but she doesn't need to fill every moment of every day with some task or chore. She's generally efficient, persistent and productive, but she doesn't obsess over making lists of things to do or accomplish.

Some additional details about your ideal mate:

Education: Your ideal mate is a woman who wants her partner to be a person who is her intellectual equal. She's the kind of person who discusses the issues of the day, like politics, religion, science or the arts. She values learning and is accomplished academically.

Organization: Your ideal mate is known for her spontaneity. She isn't the type of woman who holds fast to a rigid plan for each day. She'll do one thing until something better comes along and then take advantage of what life throws her way. Her willingness to embrace life can be fun at time, but also means she's a bit scattered.

Emotional Temperament

While day-to-day events play a major role in our feelings, there are deep seated patterns of emotion that underlie our personality and stretch across the span of our lives. These patterns are considered your Emotional Temperament. People who score high on Emotional Temperament are generally upbeat about life, are slow to get upset in the face of minor setbacks or disappointments. People who score low on Emotional Temperament are more likely to experience feelings such as anxiety, anger and depression on a regular basis. The dimensions of your profile that comprise your Emotional Temperament are Mood Management, Self Concept, Emotional Status, Anger Management and Obstreperousness.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with women who fit the following descriptions:

Mood Management: You will be most satisfied with someone who is optimistic, kind and calm. She has emotional ups and downs, but they're not extreme. Her moods are generally stable. When she's feeling down, which is rare, she's soon able to cheer herself up.

Anger Management: You will be happiest with a woman who controls her temper. Generally speaking, she has a long fuse. When she does get mad, she doesn't take it out on others or blame them for her frustration.

Some additional details about your ideal mate:

Self Concept: Your ideal match is someone who is self-assured and agreeable. She believes in herself, so she is willing to take the occasional risk. She wants to fit in but doesn't feel the need to change in order to do so. Her friends most likely describe her as someone who's secure.

Emotional Status: You are best suited to a woman who is generally happy and hopeful for the future. There are things in her life she'd like to improve, but she generally has faith that she'll attain her goals. She's not the type of person to overreact when she has a problem. Friends see her as someone who tries to focus on the positive.

Obstreperousness: Your ideal mate is someone who isn't afraid to stand up for her opinions, but doesn't always feel the need to do so. You need someone who has beliefs and confidence strong enough to match your own. However, you will not do well with someone who needs to dominate every conversation and win every argument. You will do best with someone who knows when to speak her mind, and when to just go along with the people around her.

Values

Many significant ingredients, like upbringing, family goals and spirituality combine to form a person's values and beliefs. Whatever form they take, your values are one of the most powerful determinants of your behavior. Values are also play a large role in both who we feel comfortable being around, and who we find attractive. Dissimilarity in values generally causes discomfort or awkwardness in social situations. Although close friends, family and loved ones can often have one or two stark contrasts in their values, this is made possible by a greater number of shared values, backgrounds and experiences that provide a framework of comfort and similarity. When building an intimate relationship, establishing shared values early on is key to long term success. The dimensions that we consider as part of you Personal Values are Traditionalism, Spirituality, Family Goals and Altruism.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with women who fit the following descriptions:

Family Background: Your ideal mate has a good relationship with her family, but it's not perfect. They enjoy spending time together but do have occasional disagreements. She's understands that family dynamics can work even when they're not perfect.

Family Goals: Your ideal mate expects her partner to share her feelings about family. Creating a new family is one of her most important life goals. It is important to her to share equally in the joys and tribulations of parenthood.

Some additional details about your ideal mate:

Spirituality: Your ideal mate is someone who is probably either involved in a religious community or who has an individualistic spiritual life. She's the kind of person who finds herself drawn on occasion to faith communities. She might attend services but may not be an active member of a congregation.

Traditionalism: You'll be happiest with a woman who considers herself a good person: She has strong values and her moral beliefs are an important part of who she is. She probably believes that values related to religion, country and family provide important general guidelines for life.

Altruism: Your ideal mate is the kind of person who cares about helping strangers but who might not spend a lot of her time doing so. She is someone who would help her friends if they asked her to. With encouragement, she might join efforts to help strangers, whether it's a canned food drive or a charity fundraiser.

Personality Profile

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 04:18:37 GMT

Okay, any and all comments are welcome on this. I took the eHarmony Personality profile and I want opinions on whether this sounds like me or not as well as opinions on anything else like this. I'll post both the Personality Profile as well as the Compatibility Profile which will be in the next post, so you can read either or both and tell me what you think.

Communication:
Each person has a unique way of communicating. We use a combination of body language, facial expression, verbal tone and word choice to share ourselves with others. The following statements offer a look at the natural behavior you bring to an interpersonal relationship.

You have a communications style which many people are comfortable with almost immediately. You are sincere, a good listener, not pushy and overall a comfortable person to be near.
You tend to internalize conflict. As a result, if something about another is bothering you, you may bottle-up feelings and keep them inside.
In communicating with others, you may support the mainstream ideas rather than new trailblazing activities. You may prefer the stable and traditional activities.
In your group, you may support the group leader rather than vie for a leadership position yourself. As a result, the group leader will usually appreciate the support you bring.
Others will notice that you are a sincere person about what you say and do. This trait, along with the excellent listening skills, creates an individual whom most people find pleasant to be with and a calming type of person

Improving Communication:
Many different factors determine the communication styles with which you are most comfortable. Some individuals thrive on the challenge of pointed criticism, while others are at their best in a nurturing environment where criticism is offered as a suggestion for improvement. Each of us has a unique set of requirements and preferences. Below is a list of communication styles that will mesh well with your own. Having a partner who understands and practices these traits is important to your long-term happiness.

Offer immediate rewards for accomplishments.
Be responsive toward ideas and commitments.
Ask for opinions and ideas.
Provide personal support and assurance.
Find areas of common interest and involvement.
Ask "How" questions to draw out opinions.
Present ideas softly, nonthreateningly.
Share specific ideas to carry out an action.
Listen sincerely.
Plan sufficient time to talk and listen.
Be stimulating, fun-loving, and fast-moving.

Strengths:
Following are some of the specific strengths and/or personal characteristics that you bring to a relationship. These may form the foundations of many of your friendships and dealings with other people. Some will seem obvious, but you may be surprised by others. Take a moment to reflect on each and consider what role it may have played in your past successes, and even failures.

You are usually enthusiastic about activities and planning.
You are a dependable and caring partner.
You are very sincere in actions and words.
You are very empathic towards other people.
You are very supportive of other people.
You are skilled at finding "win-win" solutions when conflicts arise.
You are very good at communicating with others and seeing their point of view.
You are excellent at listening to the concerns and ideas of others.
You tend to work hard at making sure that other people are happy.
You have an excellent sense of humor and tend to see humor in events spontaneously.

Needs:
In general, human beings are defined by their needs and individuals by their wants. Your emotional wants are especially important when establishing with whom you are compatible. While answering the Relationship Questionnaire you established a pattern of basic, subconscious wants. This section of the report was produced by analyzing those patterns. Our wants change as we mature and obtain our life goals. You may find it valuable to revisit this section periodically to see how your wants have changed.

You may want:

No close supervision--you don't want people to hang over your shoulder.
Equal relations with others.
Freedom from many rules and regulations and the ability to write your own rules.
An audience to perform to and entertain.
Partners who practice listening and participation.
Popularity.
An outlet to vent your emotions frequently.
To be measured by the results obtained, not by the manner in which those results were accomplished.
Exposure and recognition by those who really appreciate your results and achievements.
Excitement and variety of activities.
Recognition of skills and ability.
Acceptance in a variety of groups.

Stolen from a Friend

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 23:05:56 GMT

1.Your Name:

2. Age:

3. Fave Color:

4. Fave Movie:

5. Fave Song:

6. Fave Band:

7. Fave Food:

8. Most Embarassing Moment:

9. Are you a virgin?

AND HERE COMES ALL THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Are we friends?

2. Do you have a crush on me/are you attracted to me?

3. Would you kiss me?

4. ...with tongue?

5. Would you enjoy it?

6. Would you ever ask me out or go out with me if I ask you out?

7. Would you make a move on me in a movie theater?

8. Tell me one odd/intresting fact about you:

9. Tell me one intresting sexual fact about you?

10. Do you like to have fun at parties?

11. Did you get turned on yet today?

12. Have you Masturbated in the last 48hr.??

13. Thongs, Panties, or Underwear?

14. Would you let me sleep with you (in the same bed)?

15. Do you think I'm Hot?

16. Have you ever kissed more than one person in 24hr?

17. Would you ever listen to my problems even if they don't involve you?

18. Have you ever fooled around in a public place?

19. Would you ever have sex with me?

20. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?

21. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

All answers are to be screened. Unless you want it made public.

Wow, I feel like shit

Fri, 20 Jan 2006 11:21:03 GMT

Okay, I know I don't update this to often, and probably don't have many readers, if any. But man, I feel like the scum of the earth right now.

Let's see if I can paraphrase all that's happened up till now. It all started back in October of 2004. Well, I went to ICC in North Carolina and got a car from my Dad in NY right after losing my job in Phoenix. I thought, what the hell, I have friends in PA that want to go, who need rides there but not back, it's on my way, why not. So off I go, and all is good. Then at the end of ICC, the people from PA who had rides, didn't anymore. So I again decided to be nice and say, sure, I'll give you a ride back, I just recievd a $1000 inheritance, I'm sure I can cash it somewhere so I can go back home. Then every place I talk to won't cash it because it's too much, and no bank will give me an account. I'm now in a catch 22, but the friends I drove back are letting me crash there since I don't have the money to go home. Everything after that became a huge rollercoaster for me.

I'm hanging with them, and while I'm doing that, I meet this wonderful girl who I fall head over heels in love with by the name of Amy. I'm sure many of you have read her LJ and so have some clue as to what happened there. For my side of the story, I actually agree with her for the most part. I was lazy and selfish, I was trying to find work and was turning down jobs that didn't "pay me enough". I put her through a living hell, and through it all, she still loved me. Looking back at it all, I can see what I was doing, at the time though, I was too prideful to see it. I thought, hey, we love each other, and we are still making it even though we are struggling. I'll just help out around the house by making dinner and doing dishes and the like to help pay my side of the rent.

"What about the $1000 inheritance?" You may be asking. Well, on Thanksgiving of that year, I flew back to Utah to see My family and my daughter. While there, I deposited it into my bank account and all was looking good... until I went to Phoenix to pick up my stuff. See, during the months of October and November, I called my roommates there maybe 2 or 3 times to keep them updated, a real lousy job of it honestly. And then with my moving out, I thought I was helping them, because I didn't know how things would work with money and such, I didn't think that my moving out would hurt them financially, at least, not as much as my staying. Again, selfish me, thinking of myself first. So they were pissed off, and rightfully so, after all, I had promised to stay until March, and here I was leaving in December. Some of the money I had went to getting to Phoenix from Utah, some went towards my plane ticket from Phoenix back to PA and some went to pay my roommates some of what I owed them. I still owe them, and hopefully I'll actually get out of this rut and get a job so I can.

So I flew back to PA with what I could take on the plane, left the rest with them to do God knows what with it, I was hoping they'd just sell it all so we would be even, though I'm not sure if they did or not. And I was back in PA, and I was happy. I was with a girl I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Such was not the case. I thought jobs would be easy to get, nope, lets of calls, no actual offers. Then you add on the fuck up with Verizon, me forgetting to write down a whole 2 speeding tickets for a job where I don't even drive just pissed me off. The only other things I could find, were minimum wage at gas stations. In my mind, I was trying. I guess to everyone else, I was a burden.

Well, I was happy with Amy for awhile, and honestly, there's a part of me that still wishes it never ended. But those that know me, know I'm very optimistic, blindly so, and want to make everyone around me happy. Amy was cynical and as pessimistic as I was optimistic. When we got together, I thought, hey, we are opposite so we can balance each other out. How wrong I was, eventually I just felt drained, I started to feel depressed. And eventually, I was no longer the happy optimistic person I normally am, I was just a dull me. I don't blame Amy for it honestly. She is a wonderful girl and will make someone very happy, she made me happy for a long time. I think alot of it was I felt useless to her. I felt like I couldn't cheer her up no matter what I did, and most of all, I felt like I was useless because everything kept coming back to money, which I was not making.

So I concieved of a plan, that just went further to show my selfishness. I spoke to some friends in London, Ontario that I met over IRC and came up with a plan to move there to work, and do the whole Long Distance relationship with Amy. The problem was, by this time we were having alot of problems and some of the friends on IRC were girls who thought I was this great catch. Yeah, it's the male cheavanist in me, but it was a great pick me up to think I wasn't so bad after all. Amy had concerns about the whole long distance thing, and then when we had a split, she read the IRC logs and saw I was flirting with one girl in particular, Alia.

Was I honestly thinking of dating Alia, or was I thinking of cheating on Amy? Hell no. I was in love damnit, and I wanted things to work. Problem was, the selfishness in my flirting caused a major backfire to anything working with Amy and I. She no longer trusted me and things ended on a particularly sour note.

So off I go to London, all starry eyed thinking, now my life can get settled. I met Alia and we hit things off. Again, I was happy.I found a job right away, it didn't pay alot, but it paid enough for me to go to the occasional movie or get the occasional book. After a month, I started to ignore Amy because she said some things that royally pissed me off, probably because she was right. The final straw though was when she called Alia a whore. No one insults my love. So things went on great with Alia.

Again we were happy, and again my selfishness got in the way. This time my selfishness resolved around Alia being the one to take care of the house. Hell I was working, I was tired when I came home. I never thought about the fact that she was working too, that she was just as tired as I was. It started to dawn on me, and I was working on it, and we were happy again. I proposed, she said yes, and 2 weeks later everything ended. Alia felt that I stopped trying to fix things when she said yes, I don't know if I did, I thought I was trying. Then there was the fact that we sometimes needed time to ourselves, which was almost impossible in our small apartment. Finally, it came to the fact that I wanted us to settle down and have a family, and Alia wasn't sure she was ready. So on November 1st, off I go again.

My mom ended up calling to tell me she was getting married in 2 weeks and I had to be there. I couldn't get the time off. And honestly, I was so hurt over Alia, I didn't want to be in London anymore, because I knew if I stayed, I would have just made an ass of myself begging her to take me back. So I moved back to Utah, which lasted all of a month. Problem of being around close friends and family when they are all happy and in loving relationships, is I just got out of one and couldn't heal there either.

So in December, I moved back to where it all started. Back to PA. Had a few friends here willing to put me up until I find work, and things are going well, though I've hit the same wall I did last time I was here. Lots of calls, no offers. I might have a few opportunities in Utah, or back in Phoenix, so I may be moving again... who knows. All I know is I need to find a place to settle down, because once I can settle down I can get my life in order and maybe, just maybe get in a relationship where I won't have my selfishness interfere with it.

Camarilla Rant

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 18:37:21 GMT

Okay, what the hell? Why is it that the Camarilla has broken promises again? What the hell is it with the "No National Addenda" becoming, let's have a National addenda that shows we have no clue as to what we are talking about and that we want everyone who plays in multiple venues to make the Cam into a full time job.

First there's the excuse about why the US made Mage Legacies High approval instead of Mid like the Global Addenda states. Hrmm, "Unlike countries such as England that can trace deep-rooted and well-developed mystic lineages to the bygone days of mythical figures like Merlin, most well-established Legacies are still attempting to make in-roads into the United States." This is bullshit. Do some research people. We have had such secret societies and mystical orders like the Freemasons and the Golden Dawn in the US since the late 1700s. Not to mention the Salem witch hunts, the voodoo which started with the slave trade and shall we even mention *gasp* the Native American Shamans? If the US is so weak legacy wise, why did White Wolf release a chronicle book based out of Boston, and then again out of Chicago? Looks to me like there is quite a bit of history here.

Please, for once, keep a promise to the players. It's actions like this that make me wonder why I even bother, the Cam is becoming less of a hobby and more of a chore because of researching this addenda and that addenda and then going through all the hoops and red tape to do anything. Finally, throw the damn National Addendas into the fire, where they belong, it makes life as an ST alot easier when you have to deal with proxies from other Nations and makes players lives easier if they happen to travel from one Nation to another.

Please remind me why I devote so much time to this organization when all it does is make my ass bleed from the sandpaper dildos.

Hrrrm, time for another update I guess

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 06:48:31 GMT

Well, what is there to say. I'm really happy right now in Canada, to the point of wishing I came here when I first considered it 5 years ago. Ah well, things happen for a reason, right? I'm dating a beautiful girl and things are looking up in the job department finally. Had an odd experience getting my SIN card though (for those that no jack and shit about Canada, a SIN card is like a US SSN card). Had to explain to the people the reason I was finally applying for one was because I lived my life in the US and yes, I am a Canadian citizen. Ah well, it worked out in the end.

Oddest thing has happened. I'm in the first relationship ever where I have not had a single argument or fight, so far. Keep waiting for it to happen, and it never does. I guess that's a great sign. Ah well, that's what's currently happening in my life. I'll update again as things happen.

Dunno if this fits, but...

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 16:22:59 GMT

You have wings of STEEL. No one's really
sure why, but at this point in your life you've
shut off emotion to the point of extreme
apathy. You are cold and indifferent much of
the time...or perhaps you're just a good
pretender. Next to impossible to get close to,
even those who do never see the real you. It's
entirely possible that YOU don't even know the
real you. You have a certain fascination or
attraction to destruction on a massive scale -
disasters, perhaps even death or the concept of
the Apocalypse. Because you hold so much
inside, one day you're simply going to snap.
Then the mask will fall away, and your true
wings will be revealed. Until then you will
deal with whatever comes your way in icy bitter
silence and acceptance. On the positive side,
you are fearless and immeasurably strong - not
much can crack through your defenses. You
intrigue people, who can't help but wonder why
you're the way you are. A loner and one who
spends much of their time brooding and
contemplating life and death - you are a time
bomb waiting to explode and create some
destruction of your own.

Image Source:
elfwood.lysator.liu.se/.../nmetalwings.jpg.html
Words added by myself

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

Life Update

Thu, 30 Jun 2005 13:55:40 GMT

Well, let's see here. Do to several things going on, I have partially moved from Pennsylvania. I am currently in London Ontario now, and travelling to Pennsylvania for Cam and to see some friends. I never had any real job prospects there, just an initial interview and nothing else was heard. So now I'm in the land of my birth, good ol' Canada. And I have to say I love it here. The job opportunities are alot better because I am a citizen here, and I may look at joining the RCMP to be a Mountie... no comments from the peanut gallery on that. Anyways, those that have read snonsumr's LJ will know we broke up and I guess it went alot worse than I thought because now I'm uber evil according to her. Oh well, I'm sorry for hurt feelings, but I honestly don't regret anything.

Anyways, that's about it right now. I'll update again when things change or get better.

Heh, wow, should I be surprised?

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 15:36:01 GMT

The Antichrist
You scored 95% Pride, 52% Envy, 100% Ambition, and 45% Deceitfulness!

You are the Antichrist, a member of the unholy trinity along with The False Prophet and Satan. In the Bible you are described as the beast with seven heads and ten horns. You have the appearance of a leopard, with the feet of a bear and the mouth of a lion (you figure out the symbolism). You are an ambitious individual who is bent on world domination and it is prophesied that you will achieve this goal. You will eventually set up a mighty empire, the greatest empire that the world has ever seen. This empire will be in opposition to God and God’s chosen people (the Jews). Essentially, you will be like a Hitler who actually succeeds, for a time at least. Indeed, you have a lot of other Hitler-like qualities. You are a very prideful person and this probably stems from the fact that you possess real advantages over most other people. You have what it takes to get to the top and the drive to get there. You also possess Hitler’s potential for cruelty. You enjoy watching others suffer, especially your enemies. This is because you view life as a competition. May the strong survive and may they stand proudly on top of the bones of their vanquished enemies! Finally, you are very direct with your enemies and friends alike. You feel that it’s good to make your intents known to other people. Some may argue that Hitler was deceptive, but he really wasn’t. If people just read his book, they would have known his ultimate goals and how he felt about the people who stood in opposition to these goals.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 98% on Pride

You scored higher than 62% on Envy

You scored higher than 97% on Ambition

You scored higher than 39% on Deceitfulness

Link: The Which Biblical Villain Are You Test written by MetalliScats on OkCupid Free Online Dating

Wow, this mostly fits me

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 23:55:50 GMT

What's your inner deity? by Eurudite
Name/Username
Godly Name	Jawequet
God/Goddess of:	The Underworld
Weapon of Choice:	Broad Sword
Area of Origin:	Europe
Animal Familiar:	Sparrow
Weakness:	Water
Guilty Pleasure:	chocolate
Little Personality Quirk:	Your family/friends/lover come before everything
Eyes:	Green with a thin yellow ring
Hair:	Irish Red
Special Features:	Bat wings

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Okay, now I'm annoyed

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 21:51:25 GMT

How hard is it to understand and realize that a persons expenses that must be taken care of limit the choice of jobs they can look for? For example, I am supposedly in the wrong for not attempting to find anything paying less than $10/hr since in doing so, I will still ne be able to get by. I know its a foreign concept for those that do not deal with it, but I have a child and thus have to pay child support. Due to being unemployed, I have back child support I need to pay, and my current child support is $400/mo. Thus, no matter where I work, whatever I'm making, 50% of that money goes to help my daughter. Now, add on the expense of a vehicle, so that I can get to and from jobs since there is no bus system in the area and nothing is in walking distance. On average, counting gas, insurance and any repairs or parking fees, that's another $200/mo at least. After that, I need to be able to purchase food, and if I'm going really cheap, I can survive on $50/wk which is $200/mo. Now we are up to a minimum of $800/mo. Now lets all sit down and calculate out what you get at minimum wage working full time (or 2 part time jobs). Let's see here, minimum wage is $5.15/hr (http://www.dol.gov/dol/topic/wages/minimumwage.htm) so that's $206/wk. 4 weeks of that equals $824/mo. Now tell me, how am I supposed to get by with rent and everything else I'm getting bitched at about, especially when you take taxes, looks to me like my expenses exceed my income. When you take this formula, which any rational thinking person can do, you will realize that unless I make at least $10/hr, I cannot be able to "get by".

If you wanna try and give me any suggestions, please do. But look at it rationally and logically, if I'm honestly incorrect, tell me how, but as I see it, those that just say, "No, your wrong" without anything to back up the statement can kiss my ass.